Reading another good book right now called I Am My Mothers Daughter by Iris Krasnow. Its stories about ones mother and how growing up we wish we had other mothers beside the one we have/had. The author's mother was in her words "tough around the edges". Her mother outlived her family by escaping Warsaw and fleeing to Paris. Her whole family perished in Hitler's Concentration Camps. Growing up her mother wasn't sensitive to her needs as a little girl. Now her mother is going to die soon. She is in a facility with dementia, an amputated leg and very fragile.
Krasnow tells the tales of other women and how they got along with their mothers. I'm only on page 75 out of 216 but it got me thinking about my own mother.
My mother was born in Boston on August 13, 1937. She was the second oldest of four children. Her mother, Julia, whom my daughter is named after was a homemaker. Her husband, Patrick, was an alcoholic. (I'm not sure what he did for a living but I think he worked on the railroads). The oldest of the brood is my uncle Hughie (Hugh). He is currently in the next town from here in a nursing home. My mother had a sister, Eileen, who just died in November from lung cancer. Aunt Eileen has four grown children with a bunch of grandchildren. Her husband, Wilfred (Willie) also died from lung cancer in 2008. My mother's youngest sibling, Patrick (Georgie) died in 2010 from a massive heart attack vacationing with his second wife. His first wife died from Cancer as well. They had three children. Their second oldest. Michael, is my daughters Godfather.
My mother and her family grew up in Charlestown in the projects. Money was tight for them. However my grandfather still had money to spend down at the local drinking hole. Mom tells me he would get violent and my Aunt Eileen told me he threw her down a flight of stairs for angering him.
I'm not sure how my mom met my dad. I think my mom was out with her girlfriends at a restaurant and my Dad came over to talk to my mother or ask my mother out. Long story short they got married. They moved to Woburn. My mother was in her early 20s, my dad a couple years older when they got married. In 1965, my sister, Mary-Eileen was born. My mother combined her name, Mary and her sisters Eileen to get my sisters name. After that came two boys. James and Patrick. Not sure their dates of birth.
Mom had a lot of heartbreak in her lifetime. The first death in the immediate family was my brother, James (Jimmy). Patrick was a baby and was down for a nap. Mary-Eileen and Jimmy were playing across the street with the neighborhood kids. They both came home and gave my mother some flowers they both had picked and my mom was tickling their Lil noses. Mom than began to run a bath and Jimmy wanted to go back out and play. This was Memorial Day weekend so no one was around. Mom told my brother he could if my sister went with him. Mom says she asked my sister where Jimmy was when she heard the screech of brakes. Mom knew it was Jimmy. She ran outside and the neighbors would not let her see her son. My next door neighbor moved him to the side of the road (which you shouldn't do to a trauma patient). My Dad was at the store in Burlington buying lumber and my neighbor had to go get him while my mom, Patrick and my sister went to the hospital. Long story short, he didn't make it. Some kid just got his license and was going way too fast down our street. Which STILL happens to this day. Its a cut through and people speed even when its posted as 35mph. My brother was just four years old.
In the late 70s, Woburn Ma was in a huge lawsuit with WR Grace and Beatrice Foods over contamination of the towns drinking water. We had wells in our section of town that had runoff water that would go into these wells. Woburn is a Tannery town, meaning we would produce leather. The companies would waterproof it using a chemical called TCE. Basically it caused a HUGE Leukemia outbreak in our town. My brother,Patrick, died of leukemia at age 11. He died March 25, 1981. That I remember because on March 21, 1982 I was born.
I had a good childhood. Two big family vacations that I can remember were to Disney World when I was three or four years old and we took a Winnebago across country when I was six. Another tragedy hit our family when I was seven years old. Cancer took my father Oct 6th 1989. That was tough watching your father get sicker and sicker. I remember it all fairly well. Had to go to counseling and kids in my school wouldn't want to come near me thinking their dads could catch what my dad had and die.
My mom is the strongest woman I have EVER met! I can only count a number of times I have seen her cry. We both sat by when her mother took her last breath. She found her boyfriend died in his home. Just a number of things that would make anyone else go completely insane!
Why is my mom not in an insane asylum? She believes in Jesus Christ and is a STRONG Catholic/Christian person! She never blames God for the things in her life. She has her health, four beautiful grandchildren, and her undying faith!
Sure growing up we had our ups and downs. I thought she would have thrown me out of the house for getting pregnant and not having been married. I'm still here. She loves being close to the baby as well. I think it makes her feel young again. I don't know where I would be without my mother.
The author told her mother to FUCK OFF when her mother called her sons little brats. I've said that to my mom and called her a BITCH. Which I got hit in the head for that. I deserved it. She can push my buttons sometimes. However she will always be there for me and for that I am eternally grateful!
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
Headlines: President Obama Picks
First off let me say I am not a fan of President Obama. My Facebook page has real negative statements about our President. I get called a racist for not liking him which is not true. I don't like his policies, his way of thinking, his mannerisms, etc. He came out of no where during the Presidential election of 2008. I voted for Mitt Romney back in the primaries. After of which he dropped out. So I went with Sen. McCain. I'm down as an Independent, however I'm more with the Conservative values of this nation. I'm Pro-Life, Pro-God, Pro-Gun.
The Pro-Life prospective was instituted by my mother. My mother is a Irish Roman Catholic and VERY strict in her faith. Always has been. I was a Fallout Catholic ever since I was confirmed in 1998. I would get into major trouble smuggling in Game Boys, Walkmans, Cosmo magazines, and books. One parishioner took away my book when I was sitting in choir and ripped the whole book in half. A friend of my mothers said "If she won't respect the church, then let her stay at home." So after that I was allowed to stay home on Sundays and slept in.
Now that I got pregnant and had a baby, not to mention still live at home, my mother told me I had to go back. It's been seven months now and I go willingly every Sunday. Mom tries to say I also have to attend mass on Holy Days of Obligation. I talked my way out of a November Holy Day. I couldn't talk my way out of the New Year's Day one. At least my daughter attends with me and she can be a huge distraction in itself. Only once has she acted up so much that I had to take her outside into the cold so she could calm down. I hate getting stares from people I don't know when she starts to get antsy.
Back to the Obama Picks for the CIA director and the nomination for the Pentagon chief. There is an uproar from what I understand about these two decisions.
First the nomination of defense secretary, Chuck Hagel. I have heard that he said something insensitive about the Jewish community (ie Israel, a top American ally), he wanted deep budget cuts to the military, and he angered fellow Republicans about opposing war in Iraq, Afghanistan and Iran. Not to mention a gay remark he made and NOW apologies for that remark.
Its just a nomination. Granted its by the President but I'm sure there will be a vote on it by the cabinet or some other legislators. I don't know that much about how these things are run as that goes. I don't think there is a special election on this by the people of the United States but I could be very wrong.
As far as the other nomination of the CIA director, John Brennan, I don't think the former CIA director, Peterus should have stepped down. Yes, he was the one who had an affair with the woman writing a book on him. We still don't have evidence that he gave away private information that would put this country at risk. Face it, a lot of government officials are having affairs but most times it affects their integrity but not the aspect of their jobs.
Another criticism is that under the Bush administration, Brennan had tough interrogation tactics that some found to be uncalled for. He also supports the Drone process which is a spacecraft that is unmanned to cause deadly attacks on countries we are war with. Which I understand is a tactic to keep our military armed forces safer. But what about the innocent woman and children that get killed by these drone attacks?
It'll be interesting in the days ahead to see what comes out. Another thing I dislike is how the media can be so deceptive!
The Pro-Life prospective was instituted by my mother. My mother is a Irish Roman Catholic and VERY strict in her faith. Always has been. I was a Fallout Catholic ever since I was confirmed in 1998. I would get into major trouble smuggling in Game Boys, Walkmans, Cosmo magazines, and books. One parishioner took away my book when I was sitting in choir and ripped the whole book in half. A friend of my mothers said "If she won't respect the church, then let her stay at home." So after that I was allowed to stay home on Sundays and slept in.
Now that I got pregnant and had a baby, not to mention still live at home, my mother told me I had to go back. It's been seven months now and I go willingly every Sunday. Mom tries to say I also have to attend mass on Holy Days of Obligation. I talked my way out of a November Holy Day. I couldn't talk my way out of the New Year's Day one. At least my daughter attends with me and she can be a huge distraction in itself. Only once has she acted up so much that I had to take her outside into the cold so she could calm down. I hate getting stares from people I don't know when she starts to get antsy.
Back to the Obama Picks for the CIA director and the nomination for the Pentagon chief. There is an uproar from what I understand about these two decisions.
First the nomination of defense secretary, Chuck Hagel. I have heard that he said something insensitive about the Jewish community (ie Israel, a top American ally), he wanted deep budget cuts to the military, and he angered fellow Republicans about opposing war in Iraq, Afghanistan and Iran. Not to mention a gay remark he made and NOW apologies for that remark.
Its just a nomination. Granted its by the President but I'm sure there will be a vote on it by the cabinet or some other legislators. I don't know that much about how these things are run as that goes. I don't think there is a special election on this by the people of the United States but I could be very wrong.
As far as the other nomination of the CIA director, John Brennan, I don't think the former CIA director, Peterus should have stepped down. Yes, he was the one who had an affair with the woman writing a book on him. We still don't have evidence that he gave away private information that would put this country at risk. Face it, a lot of government officials are having affairs but most times it affects their integrity but not the aspect of their jobs.
Another criticism is that under the Bush administration, Brennan had tough interrogation tactics that some found to be uncalled for. He also supports the Drone process which is a spacecraft that is unmanned to cause deadly attacks on countries we are war with. Which I understand is a tactic to keep our military armed forces safer. But what about the innocent woman and children that get killed by these drone attacks?
It'll be interesting in the days ahead to see what comes out. Another thing I dislike is how the media can be so deceptive!
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Cloth Diapers
I just placed an order with Green Diaper Store today. I got their starter kit which includes three diapers. I think I got two Fuzzibunz and one BumGenius brand. I also ordered an extra BumGenius Pocket diaper and a package of inserts. They said it will ship out tomorrow. All that for around $70 wasn't bad. I shopped around and found other sites more expensive. Was thinking about shelling out $136.00 for a starter kit on the Fuzzibunz site for six diapers. It evens out to be around the same price. I just wanted to give this cloth diapering thing a whirl.
My daughters father usually buys the wipes, diapers and formula. However I even find ways to be cost observant. I can't wait to try this out. When I told people I wanted to try cloth diapering, I got mixed replies. Most were positive. Some where asking me "why? Its a lot of work.". True. However I'm a stay at home Mom with no car and nothing other than to take care of Julia. I can do laundry. Of course four diapers doesn't cut it for a day. Like I said this is just a trial run.
When I was pregnant, I got a Cloth Know How from a friend of the family who is my age and has a little boy. Well that boy will be two this coming Spring. She is a "green" parent and we've corresponded through email all about the diapering process. I also have "green" parents on Facebook. I was still very confused as there are a bunch of different types of cloth diapering. For example:
My daughters father usually buys the wipes, diapers and formula. However I even find ways to be cost observant. I can't wait to try this out. When I told people I wanted to try cloth diapering, I got mixed replies. Most were positive. Some where asking me "why? Its a lot of work.". True. However I'm a stay at home Mom with no car and nothing other than to take care of Julia. I can do laundry. Of course four diapers doesn't cut it for a day. Like I said this is just a trial run.
When I was pregnant, I got a Cloth Know How from a friend of the family who is my age and has a little boy. Well that boy will be two this coming Spring. She is a "green" parent and we've corresponded through email all about the diapering process. I also have "green" parents on Facebook. I was still very confused as there are a bunch of different types of cloth diapering. For example:
- Pre-folds - Requires a diaper cover as waste does not soil clothes. Needs something to hold diaper on like pins or something called a Snappi (looks like the inside of a Mercedes or peace sign).
- Fitted - Also requires a cover. Holds together with either snaps sewn on to it or Velcro (hook and loop). Not waterproof.
- AIO (All in Ones) - Has a waterproof outer layer, a soak inner layer, These are used once and then need to be washed and dried.
- AI2s (All in Twos) - This one is that the inner layer is not attached to the outer layer and can be changed and used again IF the outer layer hasn't been soiled. If it has it's called a "Poopy Blowout".
- Hybrid - They are similar to AI2s however inserts can be laundered or disposable.
- Pocket - There is an actual pocket inside the diaper that you add inserts to for as much absorbency as you want the diaper to have.
There could be more options but these are the ones I've come across in my research.
I will update further on this subject just as soon as my shipment comes it. May take some time as the store is in California and I'm in Massachusetts. Will definitely be interesting!
Ciao
Saturday, January 5, 2013
It's Complicated
This will be the only post EVER about my ex-boyfriend/father of my daughter. I know that when you put things on the Internet, you can't take those words back. Besides who knows who reads these things.
I met my daughters father when I went to work for a local cab company. I had just gotten my car repossessed and wanted a job where I could drive. I went in and filled out an application and basically got the job within a week. My first night working, I met a few of the drivers and mostly they seemed nice at first. I think I met Ken on the first night. When you have no jobs there was a taxi stand at a certain place where all the taxi's go to wait for the next job. I saw two guys waving over to me. I got out of my car and I met John M and Ken. A couple good looking men. I knew they were older than me. I don't even remember what the conversation was. I DO remember then telling me to look out for a certain dispatcher who worked nights. She was rough with me but eventually we got over our differences and became friends.
At the end of my shift, Ken was the one to show me how to balance the time sheet and how to calculate tips, etc. He seemed like a really nice guy. I should mention that I just got dumped by a guy I REALLY liked before I took this job. So I guess I was on the rebound. One night a few weeks into being a cab driver, I worked nights, I had a fare in the center of town. Guy seemed to be okay. I asked where he was going and he said "North -----". Okay, I drove in that direction. I get to the region of the town and I ask for an address. He said the 7-11. I told him there was no 7-11 in this part of town. He kinda argued with me. Then I realized he was either drunk or high. I told him the only 7-11 was on the West side of town. He replied yeah that's what I said. Which was clearly not the case. He started to scare me and I basically freaked out. I didn't know what to do. I called over the radio for someone to please help me out. Ken answered that he would meet me at a local restaurant to swap passengers. Before I got to the meeting point I heard an ungodly noise. I asked if he had just thrown up in my car. He started to cry. (I'm not good with vomit) Anyways, I got him to the restaurant and he got out of my car and into Kens car. To which the guy passed out before he got to his destination. So glad I didn't take him as the kid had drugs on him and another guy waiting for him at the 7-11 asked Ken if he wanted free drugs.
Crisis averted for me. Ken became my hero in a sense. We started talking at work then hung out a couple times then it was all over work that there was a thing between us. (Very gossipy work environment.) I started working there around April of 2010. Ken works at the cab company for the winter caddies on Martha's Vineyard for the Spring/Summer/Fall. While he was away I visited 2-3 times while he was out there. Stay for a night or two and return home.
We started to drift apart during the Fall of 2010. We started to fight back and forth. True there was another guy. I can admit to that. Some other guy at the same cab company took a liking to me and was way more outgoing and into the same things I was. However he was a divorced father of two. After he got a DUI with his kids in the car it went downhill and it came out that he was an alcoholic. I stopped talking to him Jan of 2011. Before I stopped talking to him, I wound up pregnant. For the entire nine months, I didn't know who the father was. It was a bad mistake on my part. I had NEVER two timed anyone I was dating before. Not only did I have to come clean to my Roman/Irish/Catholic mother about being pregnant, but I had to tell her I didn't know who the father of my baby was. I calculated the times I was intimate with each guy and it was leaning more towards Julia being Ken's daughter.
After Julia was born, Ken sent away for a paternity test. Ironically the same place that Maury Povich Show uses. Well we found out Ken IS THE FATHER! So that mystery was solved. It was a big mistake to not use protection as I would have never wanted to be stuck with Ken my whole life. To this day he annoys me and knows how to push my buttons and I believe he takes great joy in doing so.
Every time we go out nowadays he has to start some sort of argument over child support. I filed after Julia was born and he tells me all the time how much a mistake it was to do that. How I won't be getting any money from him as it all goes to the state of Massachusetts. I just don't want to listen to him go on and on about it. Whats done is done. Whatever the next step is, I'll give it the attention then. As of now the case is open but I haven't received any information. He loves to tell my mother things I write on Facebook to see if that starts a fight between my mother and I. He takes things without asking. Today he went into my bathroom and took out the scale in the bathroom closet without asking my mother. Yes, it's little and shouldn't be a major issue. I guess I was brought up differently.
I could go on and on about his shortcomings. As I sat here and wrote all of how we came to be, I have calmed down. I can't write on here everything that makes me mad about him. I'm going to take a step back and become the mature one.
I may mention him in future post but nothing further of my opinion about him. He is not my ideal person to be with. I just ask that he is there for his daughter, which he has proven he will be. When he starts on me, I try and bite my tongue. Some days I can let it roll off my back, other days I'm not so lucky.
/rant
Caio
I met my daughters father when I went to work for a local cab company. I had just gotten my car repossessed and wanted a job where I could drive. I went in and filled out an application and basically got the job within a week. My first night working, I met a few of the drivers and mostly they seemed nice at first. I think I met Ken on the first night. When you have no jobs there was a taxi stand at a certain place where all the taxi's go to wait for the next job. I saw two guys waving over to me. I got out of my car and I met John M and Ken. A couple good looking men. I knew they were older than me. I don't even remember what the conversation was. I DO remember then telling me to look out for a certain dispatcher who worked nights. She was rough with me but eventually we got over our differences and became friends.
At the end of my shift, Ken was the one to show me how to balance the time sheet and how to calculate tips, etc. He seemed like a really nice guy. I should mention that I just got dumped by a guy I REALLY liked before I took this job. So I guess I was on the rebound. One night a few weeks into being a cab driver, I worked nights, I had a fare in the center of town. Guy seemed to be okay. I asked where he was going and he said "North -----". Okay, I drove in that direction. I get to the region of the town and I ask for an address. He said the 7-11. I told him there was no 7-11 in this part of town. He kinda argued with me. Then I realized he was either drunk or high. I told him the only 7-11 was on the West side of town. He replied yeah that's what I said. Which was clearly not the case. He started to scare me and I basically freaked out. I didn't know what to do. I called over the radio for someone to please help me out. Ken answered that he would meet me at a local restaurant to swap passengers. Before I got to the meeting point I heard an ungodly noise. I asked if he had just thrown up in my car. He started to cry. (I'm not good with vomit) Anyways, I got him to the restaurant and he got out of my car and into Kens car. To which the guy passed out before he got to his destination. So glad I didn't take him as the kid had drugs on him and another guy waiting for him at the 7-11 asked Ken if he wanted free drugs.
Crisis averted for me. Ken became my hero in a sense. We started talking at work then hung out a couple times then it was all over work that there was a thing between us. (Very gossipy work environment.) I started working there around April of 2010. Ken works at the cab company for the winter caddies on Martha's Vineyard for the Spring/Summer/Fall. While he was away I visited 2-3 times while he was out there. Stay for a night or two and return home.
We started to drift apart during the Fall of 2010. We started to fight back and forth. True there was another guy. I can admit to that. Some other guy at the same cab company took a liking to me and was way more outgoing and into the same things I was. However he was a divorced father of two. After he got a DUI with his kids in the car it went downhill and it came out that he was an alcoholic. I stopped talking to him Jan of 2011. Before I stopped talking to him, I wound up pregnant. For the entire nine months, I didn't know who the father was. It was a bad mistake on my part. I had NEVER two timed anyone I was dating before. Not only did I have to come clean to my Roman/Irish/Catholic mother about being pregnant, but I had to tell her I didn't know who the father of my baby was. I calculated the times I was intimate with each guy and it was leaning more towards Julia being Ken's daughter.
After Julia was born, Ken sent away for a paternity test. Ironically the same place that Maury Povich Show uses. Well we found out Ken IS THE FATHER! So that mystery was solved. It was a big mistake to not use protection as I would have never wanted to be stuck with Ken my whole life. To this day he annoys me and knows how to push my buttons and I believe he takes great joy in doing so.
Every time we go out nowadays he has to start some sort of argument over child support. I filed after Julia was born and he tells me all the time how much a mistake it was to do that. How I won't be getting any money from him as it all goes to the state of Massachusetts. I just don't want to listen to him go on and on about it. Whats done is done. Whatever the next step is, I'll give it the attention then. As of now the case is open but I haven't received any information. He loves to tell my mother things I write on Facebook to see if that starts a fight between my mother and I. He takes things without asking. Today he went into my bathroom and took out the scale in the bathroom closet without asking my mother. Yes, it's little and shouldn't be a major issue. I guess I was brought up differently.
I could go on and on about his shortcomings. As I sat here and wrote all of how we came to be, I have calmed down. I can't write on here everything that makes me mad about him. I'm going to take a step back and become the mature one.
I may mention him in future post but nothing further of my opinion about him. He is not my ideal person to be with. I just ask that he is there for his daughter, which he has proven he will be. When he starts on me, I try and bite my tongue. Some days I can let it roll off my back, other days I'm not so lucky.
/rant
Caio
Friday, January 4, 2013
Introduction
I thought I would create a blog just to voice my opinion on things. World events, being a mother, debates, politics, etc. I had a blog on Livejournal.com but I didn't use it everyday. So I'm starting 2013 with a blog that I will use everyday. I don't know if anyone will actually read this or not. That's not why I'm blogging. I'm doing this for myself. To accomplish something while looking for a job and taking care of my seven month old daughter.
I guess I should start off by introducing myself. My name is Sheila. I'm thirty years old (thirty-one in March). I have a beautiful seven month old daughter, Julia. She wasn't expected and her father and I are not together. However he loves her with all his heart and I couldn't not ask for more than that. I just graduated from American Career Institute, majoring in Medical Assisting. Graduation was last November where I was awarded First Honors. I currently live at home with my mother. I'm on Government Assistance and am awaiting a place to live in my town. Which I hope is soon. I love to read books. I have a HUGE pile of To Be Read bookshelf. Book stores are a DANGER! With money being so tight, I avoid book stores as much as possible. Going to be rough tomorrow as my daughters father just mentioned on going to Savers tomorrow. If you don't know what Savers is: Its a thrift store like a Salvation Army type place. I buy my daughters clothes second hand as a way to save money. Luckily I have great friends who look out for cool outfits too.
I am currently looking for a job. I need one badly. I don't get much from the state plus rent for living at home. It's cheap but not when on a fixed income. I'm still lucky that I don't pay for Internet or heating and electric. Although I will when I get housing. I do not own a car so it hard to get around. I rely on my daughters father and my mother. My best friend, also the Godmother to my daughter comes down on weekends and watches Julia while I get stuff done around the house. I don't have too many friends. Actually aside from Alison, I don't talk to/hang around with anyone else. I talk to a lot of friends on Face book, whom I talk to regularly. Most that I really talk to live further away across the country. Boo.
Well I'm going to leave this as my first official post. Time to think up some topics to have opinions on. :)
Ciao
I guess I should start off by introducing myself. My name is Sheila. I'm thirty years old (thirty-one in March). I have a beautiful seven month old daughter, Julia. She wasn't expected and her father and I are not together. However he loves her with all his heart and I couldn't not ask for more than that. I just graduated from American Career Institute, majoring in Medical Assisting. Graduation was last November where I was awarded First Honors. I currently live at home with my mother. I'm on Government Assistance and am awaiting a place to live in my town. Which I hope is soon. I love to read books. I have a HUGE pile of To Be Read bookshelf. Book stores are a DANGER! With money being so tight, I avoid book stores as much as possible. Going to be rough tomorrow as my daughters father just mentioned on going to Savers tomorrow. If you don't know what Savers is: Its a thrift store like a Salvation Army type place. I buy my daughters clothes second hand as a way to save money. Luckily I have great friends who look out for cool outfits too.
I am currently looking for a job. I need one badly. I don't get much from the state plus rent for living at home. It's cheap but not when on a fixed income. I'm still lucky that I don't pay for Internet or heating and electric. Although I will when I get housing. I do not own a car so it hard to get around. I rely on my daughters father and my mother. My best friend, also the Godmother to my daughter comes down on weekends and watches Julia while I get stuff done around the house. I don't have too many friends. Actually aside from Alison, I don't talk to/hang around with anyone else. I talk to a lot of friends on Face book, whom I talk to regularly. Most that I really talk to live further away across the country. Boo.
Well I'm going to leave this as my first official post. Time to think up some topics to have opinions on. :)
Ciao
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